In a month, my youngest sister is coming to visit. She is traveling from the other side of the country, and while I am excited to spend time with her, there are many things that she and I have never discussed. Here is where my apprehension comes in.

I am deeply religious…a recent convert to Catholicism and she is an avowed atheist. How will my regular prayer life, especially the “public” stuff, like giving thanks before meals, not to mention my routine of Praying the Rosary after dinner be affected? This is all part of “who I am”, in the core of my being and I would like my sister to accept this aspect of me that she has never seen, let alone been near anyone who lives in this manner.

I have decided not to “hide” who I have discovered I am. Most of my life was spent in hiding and in some degree of shame about myself. My thought life, my beliefs about the World around me, my wounds, were all kept under wraps. I once attempted to open-up about the “inner me” to my beloved Nana, who was probably the only person in the world that I trusted but she silenced me by advising that, “we don’t talk about such things”. So, I began to stuff all that I thought and felt deep inside and I ceased trying to “be heard”; I became a bit of a mouse, scurrying here and there, doing for others, all in an attempt at some sort of recognition.

Shortly before becoming a Catholic, I decided that, although I might be considered different from others, I was NOT bad or wrong or defective. Yes, I had much to learn about myself but taking that first big step and accepting God’s forgiveness for any mistakes I had made in my life, knowing deep in my heart that He loved me unconditionally enabled me to freely “be” who He had made me to be. I am praying today, and in the weeks preceding my sister’s arrival, that God will grant me the grace to live out what He has made me and called me to be. As my only remaining sibling out of the five, it would be nice if she loved and accepted me exactly as I am but, my ultimate happiness and joy is no longer contingent upon the approval or acceptance of others.

This is the true freedom Christ has promised. Peace and freedom were the reasons that I began to follow Jesus in the first place. I don’t plan to relinquish these gifts but visits and social contacts can be awkward with those who are opposed to your views. I can only hope to be a quiet witness to my sister of all the blessings I have received through faith.